Assunto: Ten of the Best Gaming Commercials Ever Dom Set 20, 2009 6:34 pm
September 18, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009—a day that will haunt me for the rest of my life. It was a day that began like any other. I woke up, read my feed reader, ate a half-eaten cheese danish from the night before—nothing out of the ordinary. But then I got the message—the message that would bring me to the brink of tears, despite the fact that I’m a stone-cold badass: … Okay, so I lost that too. But what it sums up to is this: Binge Gamer fuckin’ crashed that day, wiping the slate clean and leaving four of the most talented people in the industry (me included) on their knees, beckoning to the heavens, wondering where the hell all their pretty chalk drawings and witty rantings went to. Now I know how all those families felt back in the 1960s when Kennedy ate that bullet—literally. Too soon? Perhaps. But watching my dream ship sink from the shoreline left me bitter and ruthless. No one is safe. NO ONE! Fortunately for the rest of the internet, Binge Gamer is hardly a keystone in its functionality, and everyone else continued to surf through cyberspace unaffected while we suffered the wrath of a web monsoon. This includes YouTube. Ah, YouTube. My digital time machine. My virtual capsule of eternal youth. You’re my door to the past; my electronic solitude. You let me watch old video game commercials for free. Anyone born before 1990 knows just what I’m talking about, and anyone born before 2000 should at the very least have some sort of faint idea. Video game commercials have always treaded that fine line between… well, they’ve always treaded a fine line. For some reason, I find these commercials absurdly awesome. Sure, some of them are lame, and others are downright disturbing, but when I watch these clips, I’m home again. So here you are, folks. For your viewing pleasure: ten of the best video game commercials EVAR!!!!11!!112!2@PerryPiekarski!@1102!!?!
10.) Guy Getting Hit by Baseball When I started pulling this list together, I thought to myself, “Perry, what better way to kick off any list tha with a guy getting hit in the gnads by a baseball?” Of course, there’s no denying my own brilliance, nor the brilliance of this commercial. Sega got it right when they assumed gamers wanted to see their nemesis—the professional athlete—take one right in the junk. Thanks, Sega. You truly do understand gamers. Let’s just hope your next Sonic game isn’t a flop.
9.) Sony PlayStation Slim Price Drop Alright, so here’s my logic behind this one: While it’s too soon for this commercial to have any significant nostalgic value or to even be considered a classic, there’s no denying that it’s fucking hilarious. Note how Sony pokes fun at their own inability to keep a secret. Also: I want that “PS3 is $299″ t-shirt. Anyone who gets me one will be my best friend forever. So here’s the deal: I stick this video at the number 9 slot simply because it’s excellent, and you deal with it. EDIT: Several days after I’d already chosen the first price drop commercial for the list, a second and third hit the scene. They’re just as brilliant, and it makes me want to give Sony some sort of medal for finally learning how to advertise.
sidsidsid
Assunto: Re: Ten of the Best Gaming Commercials Ever Dom Set 20, 2009 6:35 pm
8.) Sonic & Knuckles… or this Honey Nut Cheerios One
I can’t decide between midgets or a talking bee trying to sell me a breakfast cereal that tastes like the goop made from his saliva. Therefore, we count them as one commercial, pretend this is still a top ten, and move on.
7.) Yoshi’s Island – GLUTTON!
I love Yoshi’s Island. It’s easily one of the best games for the SNES and one of the quirkiest, most memorable titles of all time. Unfortunately, its ad campaign was disturbing as hell. That guy exploding after he swallows that last dollop of whipped cream is kind of—er, nasty. It was then. It is now. It always will be. Editor’s note: whipped cream is the food equivalent of C4. Also take note of how he erupts into a spewing wave of green goop—not blood like you’d think. That’s Nintendo for ya.
6.) ZELLLLDUHHHH!
Kind of… um… nevermind. Any comment I make about this commercial will likely get me in trouble, so I’m taking the high road and keeping my big mouth shut. I’m so proud of me. ^_^
5.) MORTALLLL KOOOMMMBAAAT!!!!
Bad. Ass. If you’re going to yell anything, this is what it should be. Really, if there’s one thing you need to do before you die, it’s stand on your roof and shout MORTALLLL KOOOMMMBAAAT!!!! at the kids in your neighborhood. If you’re lucky, they’ll fight to the death while you heckle them from above. Just make sure you head inside before the cops come after one of them reaches into the other’s chest and tears out his beating heart with his BARE HANDS. Bad. Ass.
sidsidsid
Assunto: Re: Ten of the Best Gaming Commercials Ever Dom Set 20, 2009 6:37 pm
4.) Game Gear Got Color; Game Boy Don’t.
Fun fact: Nintendo’s Game Boy also had a lifespan that was about four times that of the Game Gear. Ponder that one for a while. I’mma gonna go play some GBA games on my DS, now. Enjoy the commercial.
3.) Super Smash Bros. – So Happy Together
How great was it the first time you saw this commercial? Me? I was confused as all bloody hell. Here’s the typical reaction the first time anyone sees this ad:
Um… wth?
Um… wth?
Um… that was awesome, but wth?
All in all, the commercial’s great, and I applaud Nintendo for taking a new direction with their beloved characters that was both innovative and unexpected.
2.) Sega CD—You Don’t Got One? FAIL!
Racist—even down to its title on YouTube—this commercial exemplifies every white man’s desire to be black and Sega’s awareness of that useful little factoid. Genius! Too bad the Sega CD was a P.O.S. If only Sega’s consoles were as successful as their ads. ZING!
1.) The Ratchet & Clank Commercials… ALL OF THEM!
In my opinion, Ratchet & Clank is host to the greatest video game commercials of all time. They’re funny. They’re inventive. They’re filled with explosions. What more do you want? These commercials are so good that Insomniac even went as far as to include them as unlockable content in the first R&C. I must have watched them a thousand times each. My personal favorite has to be the one with the kid on the tractor for the Decoy Gun. The terror in his mom’s voice as his inflatable doppelganger gets smashed by a truck is so pure, my heart swells with pride each time I hear it. Does this make me a bad person? Probably. But I’m still going to laugh every time I see it.