Para quem está na dúvida entre comprar o Prototype ou o inFamous, o pessoal do Destructoid.com facilitou a coisa... leima que está hilariante:
Two games have recently been released that bear several striking
similarities. Both of these games are open-world sandbox titles
featuring superpowered antiheroes who begin to realize a host of
awesome abilities with which to distribute justice and/or malice as
they see fit. While they share a lot of features, the two games are
certainly distinguishable, taking the superhero model in different
directions.However, that doesn't mean we're not going to compare and fight about them anyway, just because we can. Contrasting the two games, it is very obvious that
Prototype is better than
inFAMOUS,
and anybody who disagrees is a despicable moron who doesn't know
anything about videogames and should probably just die. Read on to feel
justified in agreeing with me, or to be shamed by just how incorrect
and rubbish at life you truly are.
1. Alex Mercer isn't a pussy:
Apparently,
Cole is supposed to be a superhero, which doesn't explain why, exactly,
he's an utter pussy who couldn't hold his own in a fight against Anne
Frank. While Mercer is able to take on an entire army, a special forces
group,
and a city full of infected mutations
at the same time,
Cole struggles against junkies and hobos, barely able to defend himself
against a few druggies dressed in trashbags. It's disgustingly pathetic.Mercer
is pulling the tops off tanks, hijacking helicopters, and absorbing
monsters into his own skin. Cole is hanging off the sides of buildings
take wimpy little electric potshots at some loser with a shotgun. If
Cole were to audition for the Justice League, Batman would give him a
wedgie and then laugh him out of the building. He'd be right to do so.
If Mercer turned up for the same audition, he'd probably just eat
Batman. This is because Mercer isn't dickless like Cole is.
2. Chain link fences:
On
the subject of Cole being a pussy, what kind of lame, worthless "hero"
can't deal with a chain link fence? Many are the times in
inFAMOUSwhen enemies will safely hide behind fences, happily shooting the shit
out of you while your electricity attacks harmlessly disperse along the
metal that stands between you and retribution. Unable to do anything to
remove the fences, Cole is absolutely helpless in this situation. Quite
why the game's villains didn't just trap him in a big metal chainlink
box, I do not know. He'd have been able to do nothing but
cry. While playing
Prototype, I came across a few chain link fences. Remembering Cole's shame from
inFAMOUS,
I conducted a little test titled, "Is Alex Mercer defeated by fences
like that idiot Cole?" The result of this test is very conclusive --
Alex Mercer can punch chain link fences into tiny fucking pieces.
Mercer is to fences what Ed Kemper was to the severed heads of college
girls. If any enemies dared to stand behind a fence and shoot at
Mercer, he'd pull that shit right down and then cut the prick into tiny
little pieces. Meanwhile, all Cole has to do is
see a bit of thin metal and he runs away with shit streaming down his legs.
3. Upgrades:
Both
inFAMOUS and
Prototype feature an experience system that can be used to upgrade characters. However, only
one game features upgrades that are actually
worth getting. If you'd have guessed that
inFAMOUS was that game, you'd be a fucking twat. Let's compare the two experiences -- after several hours of playing
inFAMOUS, I had finally eked enough XP to purchase one or two powers that were
barely useful. After five minutes of playing
Prototype,
I had more XP than I knew what to do with and was soon gliding from the
rooftops, slicing people to bits with claws, and performing mid-air
dashes.
Prototype showers the players with rewards and then treats them like a kid in a candy store.
inFAMOUS makes you work severely hard, earning
maybeup to 5 XP per kill, for such shitty powers as "barely effective stomp
attack that usually causes more harm than good" or "melee damage that
you won't need because enemies are always hiding miles away from you."
Prototype has more upgrades, better upgrades, and
better upgrades for those upgrades.
inFAMOUS has a rubbish gliding ability that Mercer embarrassingly outmatches.
4. Prototype isn't spelled all stupid:
Seriously,
inFAMOUS? What the fuck is with that grammar?
Prototype is just
Prototype. It's not
prTROToTYpE or
pr0t0typ3 or
P.R.O.T.O.T.Y.P.E. Simply
Prototype.
inFAMOUS is stupid and pretentious. That kind of spelling makes it look
like Apple designed the game. It's a fucking videogame, not a shitting
iPod.
inFAMOUS loses the battle of the names, which is a
real and
seriousbattle and not just an arbitrary, contrived point of contention
invented to generate fanboy rage. Sony should come back when it learns
to spell things properly, not like some 14-year-old girl's
LiveJournal. Seriously, PlayStation? With a capital S!? GET REAL, SONY! Or should I say sOnY!? P.S: Some people have tried to argue that
Prototype is spelled
[PROTOTYPE]and this is stupider. It's actually not though. Brackets aren't letters
so it is not a spelling you idiots, and sometimes Sega can be spelled
SEGA. Because of these reasons, this means I am still right. I have
reasons.
5. Enemy variety:
Say what you will about
Prototype (although mainly say it's better than
inFAMOUS,
because it is), the game certainly doesn't shy away from having a
variety of enemy types with which to deal. Tanks, choppers, soldiers,
supersoldiers, mutants, robots, there is plenty to fight and plenty of
ways to go about it.
inFAMOUS comes up short yet again, thanks
to enemies that pretty much behave in exactly the same way from the
very start of the game to the very end. The gangs of
inFAMOUSlook pretty good, but there is nary a difference between them. The
Reapers and the Dustmen are just model swaps as opposed to anything
else. Occassionally you get a powerful opponent called a Conduit, but
they are few and far between, leading to the same, repetitive battles
throughout the whole experience. Also,
inFAMOUS is ghey. I saw it being ghey a bit and it looked at me when it did it.
6. The Prototype comic book has an awesome rapetrap story in it:
In the
Prototypecomic book, there is a bit set in Vietnam, and some soldiers are
talking. One of the soldiers mentions his friend, who tried to rape a
fourteen-year-old girl but was unsuccessful because he, and I quote,
"Got his dick sliced up real good on account of the little slope
sticking glass in her cooch for just such an occasion."Proof, if proof be needed, that P
rototype is better than
inFAMOUS.
InFAMOUS doesn't even
have a comic (that I've been bothered to read), let alone one with Vietnamese cooch glass rapetraps.
7. Running up buildings > Climbing like a spastic monkey:
Mercer
and Cole both have very different ideas about what Parkour is. One of
them thinks the best way to get around town is to slowly climb up
buildings, trying to guess where the player wants to go and generally
grabbing the wrong thing to frustrate everybody and become a prone
target for enemies. One of them just runs the fuck up a building and
then flies to wherever the Hell he wants to go. One of them's a
total prick. One of them is called Alex Mercer and he likes to run up
buildings. While playing as Mercer, you can dash through the streets
and gleefully have him jump instantly over cars, push through crowds
and dash up vertical surfaces. As Cole, you can run a bit fast and be
worried about jumping in case he magnetizes himself to a lamp post or
whatever else happens to be in the way. That is when Cole doesn't just
glitch through the road.
8. Water:
"Wah
wah wah, I'm Cole, I can't get wet because I'm full of electric magic
and that
means I'll get hurt!" Cry me a river, bitch. Oh wait, you
can't because if you did that you'd get wet and
then you'd die! What a frigging pansy. Cole can't get wet because he's an immense wanker and gets hurt just whenever he touches the stuff. Once again, you come up trumps on
Prototype.
If Alex Mercer happens to fall in water, he stays submerged for a
second before thinking, "fuck this drowning shit" and leaps heroically
out of the blue and onto dry land. Meanwhile, Cole can't even take a
bath and so obviously stinks of shit and smegma. How can he even drink?
He can't, apparently. Cole is destined to die of thirst, while Mercer
can drink whatever the hell he likes.
9. The head of developer Sucker Punch is racist:
Probably.
10. Final Fantasy XIII is coming to the Xbox 360:
The last and most important point is that
Final Fantasy XIII is coming to the Xbox 360, even though PS3 fans said it
never ever would. This means they were wrong about it, and if they were wrong about
FFXIII, who knows what
else they could be wrong about? Maybe, for example, they could be wrong about
inFAMOUS being better than
Prototype, since every PS3 fan on the planet obviously loves
inFAMOUS so much? Yes, yes that is exactly the thing that has happened that I am writing about! Square Enix's personal and hate-filled betrayal of everything PS3 fans hold dear is proof positive that
Prototype is better than
inFAMOUS, as well as
Killzone 2,
Uncharted and
LittleBigPlanet. I have come to this conclusion using a little thing called
logic, and you can't dispute logic, so don't even bother trying you idiot. There you have it. I have sufficiently proven that
Prototype is blatantly better than
inFAMOUS,
and if for some reason you still don't agree with me, you are obviously
some sort of fucking retard who needs to go drown in a swamp.
por FILIP_FB Qua Dez 05, 2012 11:20 am
