Ten of the Best Gaming Commercials Ever

September 18, 2009


Tuesday, September 8, 2009—a day that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
It was a day that began like any other. I woke up, read my feed
reader, ate a half-eaten cheese danish from the night before—nothing
out of the ordinary.
But then I got the message—the message that would bring me to the brink of tears, despite the fact that I’m a stone-cold badass:
… Okay, so I lost that too. But what it sums up to is this: Binge
Gamer fuckin’ crashed that day, wiping the slate clean and leaving four
of the most talented people in the industry (me included) on their
knees, beckoning to the heavens, wondering where the hell all their
pretty chalk drawings and witty rantings went to.
Now I know how all those families felt back in the 1960s when Kennedy ate that bullet—literally.
Too soon?
Perhaps. But watching my dream ship sink from the shoreline left me bitter and ruthless. No one is safe. NO ONE!
Fortunately for the rest of the internet, Binge Gamer is hardly a
keystone in its functionality, and everyone else continued to surf
through cyberspace unaffected while we suffered the wrath of a web
monsoon. This includes YouTube.
Ah, YouTube. My digital time machine. My virtual capsule of eternal youth. You’re my door to the past; my electronic solitude.
You let me watch old video game commercials for free.
Anyone born before 1990 knows just what I’m talking about, and anyone born before 2000 should at the very least
have some sort of faint idea. Video game commercials have always
treaded that fine line between… well, they’ve always treaded a fine
line.
For some reason, I find these commercials absurdly awesome. Sure,
some of them are lame, and others are downright disturbing, but when I
watch these clips, I’m home again.
So here you are, folks. For your viewing pleasure: ten of the best video game commercials EVAR!!!!11!!112!2@PerryPiekarski!@1102!!?!


10.) Guy Getting Hit by Baseball
When I started pulling this list together, I thought to myself,
“Perry, what better way to kick off any list tha with a guy getting hit
in the gnads by a baseball?”
Of course, there’s no denying my own brilliance, nor the brilliance
of this commercial. Sega got it right when they assumed gamers wanted
to see their nemesis—the professional athlete—take one right in the
junk.
Thanks, Sega. You truly do understand gamers. Let’s just hope your next Sonic game isn’t a flop.