Portugal (Pronounced Poor-Jew-Girl)

Portugal (Pronounced Poor-Jew-Girl)





A melhor entrada de sempre numa plataforma wiki sobre Portugal:


Ancient Way of Life

Ancient portugeese weren't too different from modern ones: men
used mustache as soon as they were considered adult. The
mustachedresser was called bigodeiro. They used codfish as a weapon. Os
Lusíadas, an epic poem by Camões, sings about the Big Codfish War (yes,
the poem was actually alive; ergo, it sang;), where Vasco da Gama
discovers his ancestors in Neverland and fights against them for
possession of the Codfish Mines in Norway. Camões describes fifteen
kinds of weapons based on codfish. The most popular kind was
undoubtedly the swordfish. Portuguese were also very prosperous people.
Portuguese cities were the biggest in the world. Indiana Jones found
the ruins of Fatima and concluded that it was bigger than Portugal
itself.


Kings and such

Sorry, there have been no kings of Portugal. Portugal has been
ruled by Socrates I for time immemorial since anyone can remember.

Trying to usurp the power

Mozart and Beethoven tried to rule Portugal during this period,
but they never made it - King Eusebio just wouldn't let them. Wagner
came with his gracious Valkyries trying to be king, but the best he
could do was to build Portugal's first quality brothel. I got my first
job there. Several statues from the latin-greek antiquity tried his
luck, but they didn't know that Portuguese people were Latin- and
lactose- and bronze- and statue-intolerant (the only intact statue in
Portugal is King Eusebio's; all the others have at least a corrosive
pigeon shitbomb).

Portugeese expansion

The portugeese people wanted for more women and codfish. They
constructed strong and fast ships and traveled all over the world! In
one of their travels, they met Galileo, who taught them how to be
killed by the Pope. Then they met Napoleon who taught how to be an
Italian in France. As if it was not enough, they met Dante Alighieri,
who taught them how to frighten by a Divine Comedy. These were quiet
profitable learnings, and so the portugeese established secret
colonies, which they disguised as codfish traders. There are also
rumors that portugeese people were in Mozambique. Kofi Annan tried to
steal info from the portugeese, but so far Mozambique is, still, a land
to be found. But in all truth it wasn't until some Portugeese king or
other married some bird from Lancaster (England) and had a lad called
infant Henry did they really discover anything. Oh, and don't forget
that Columbus was in fact the bastard half brother of the at the time
king of Portugal. He wasn't born in Italy as many would make you
believe, but in a little village called Cuba in the southern province
of Alentejo.

fonix. LINDO! onde arranjaste isto?!!?!!?!?

http://spectrum.weblog.com.pt/

A parte do True facts about Portugal é que é de partir a rir!

Viva o bigode e o bacalhau!